Happy Happy Relationships
A 4 Step Process To Claim Your Personal Power
February 7, 2011
4

Darlene NavarreToday’s post is a special gift from raw food chef, ‘goddess momma’ and inspiring conscious creator – Darlene Navarre. Darlene runs a raw food website full of free recipes and inspriation for those looking to explore a ‘raw’ lifestyle. (If you’ve never heard of ‘raw food’ I highly suggest you take a look).

Anyway, today Darlene has shared some of her own inspiring experiences and provided a four step personal power plan for all readers of Tame Your Mind Monkey. Over to Darlene….. 

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claim your personal powerI really enjoy anything that gets me thinking about my life and how I’m living it, so when I came across the statement, “How you do one thing is how you do everything” recently, it stirred up a rapid fire of thought throughout my spirit, body and mind – and inspired me to write this blog on how you too can start living in power.

Getting In Your Personal Power Zone

I’ve found that when you want to change the direction of your life, you have to acknowledge three fundamental truths (keeping in mind that “How you do one thing is how you do everything.”). They are:

1.  Realising that making NO decision is still making a decision. When you refuse to decide, you allow yourself to be buffeted around by “chance”. You’re deciding to take no responsibility for where you’re headed.

2.  Recognising that choosing to give away your power to OTHERS only multiplies your problems: Blaming other people or circumstances for what’s going in your life and taking 0% responsibility puts you in a major power deficit.

relationship problems

Options 1 and 2 are both disempowering and will leave you feeling like a victim, lost, disconnected and powerless. If you go around blaming your partner for all the “problems” in your relationship, you probably give away your personal power in other areas of your life too. Perhaps you’re blaming your boss for the “problems” in your job and want them to change, in order for your life to be the way you want it.

The Third Concept However Is The Flip Side Of The Personal Power Coin:

3.  As a creator, your job is to create solutions. Take full responsibility for everything in your life, including the people and situations in it, knowing you created them all.

This option is a choice full of strength, self fulfillment and POWER! If a situation comes up in your marriage, choosing this attitude means you’re able to view it as a “growth experience” or “contrast” and ask yourself, “How can I realign my thoughts, emotions and perspective to match what I really want?” This becomes something you are in complete “control” of and in the end it’s a win/win for you and all those around you.

My Empowerment Story:

My husband, Blake, and I have been together for almost 13 years now. This is the longest intimate, personal relationship I’ve been a part of. A few months ago I felt I no longer wanted to remain in my marriage and was ready to take the next exit out.

After telling Blake I wanted a divorce he asked me, “How do you expect this to work, since we still have 3 children to care for?” That question started me thinking about my life and I thought of the phrase at the start of this post. I realized that how I was approaching my relationship with Blake was how I was approaching everything in my life. I look a long hard look at all areas of my life to honestly assess where I stood. I acknowledged:

  • My business was only growing very slowly, as I was hardly paying attention to it.
  • I had run from and ignored many of the relationships I had with friends and family.
  • Financially I was headed towards bankruptcy again (for the third time in my young 39 years).

 how to make changes in your life

I realized I had created a pattern in my life. When I felt scared and/or powerless about anything I would run away from it, whether that meant filing bankruptcy, choosing to divorce Blake, or just walking away from relationships as if they never existed.

When I stood back and looked at the whole picture of my life I could see that the way I was doing one thing, was how I was doing everything. Worse still, it was leaving me feeling even more alone and powerless. In that moment I saw that fear itself could not hurt me, but running away from everything – everything I really wanted – could. It was time to face my fears, take responsibility and REALLY live my life. All out! 100%!

After all the self improvement information I had absorbed, spoken of and taught over the years, I was finally ready to take action and responsibility for myself. I was ready to give all I had in my business, my finances and my marriage.

I took a look in the mirror and asked myself, “Darlene, are you willing to GIVE everything you are, your love, attention and focus, break down all those internal “walls” and stay present to everything you want in your life? Are you finally ready to go through the fear and LIVE on the other side in power?”

personal power through love

I was.

I was impassioned. I sat down with my husband and told him, “I love you! I am ready to play all out and win this game. No walls, no whats, no ifs or buts. Its just you and me and I’m willing to really BE and STAY in this relationship! I want to love you, believe in us and be connected beyond anything you or I have ever experienced before!”

The powerful choice I made to give 100% in my relationship has created the most amazing relationship with my husband – beyond anything I could have imagined. In addition, the rest of my relationships, my business and my finances are improving daily. How I do everything now is give all I have. I know now I have the power to create my life the way I really want it.

Yes, I still get scared and want to run away like I use to when the fear or powerless feeling comes up. But now, instead of running away, I:

1.  Accept what I’m feeling. I comfort myself that, YES, it can be scary to stay and play in new territory.

2.  See my fear for what it really is – just doubt and old patterns. I remember that they only hurt me when I give into them

3.  Turn my attention to the power within me and challenge myself to think about a vision of my life as I really want it.

4.  Call a supportive friend, watch a video, listen to an audio tape or read a book to fill me up with positive emotions. Take action that supports my new beliefs to stay present in my own personal power.

The more you follow this 4 step process, going through your fears into your power, the easier and less frequently your fears will come up. If you give in to your fears in one area of your life the pattern will repeat again and again in other areas.

Living in power starts with empowering choices. If you want to create a powerful shift in your life, look at the whole picture and remember…

“How you do one thing is how you do everything!”

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About author

admin

Camilla Jones is the writer behind www.tameyourmindmonkey.com and author of the free eBook, 'On Purpose, With Passion' - a workbook designed to help you uncover new meaning, direction and passion, in order to lead the happy, fulfilled life you've always dreamed of. To receive your free copy of 'On Purpose, With Passion' email camilla@tameyourmindmonkey.com, with 'ebook' in the subject line.

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There are 4 comments

  • Annie says:

    What a great read! Very inspiring!

    [Reply]

  • Christine says:

    Oh, that hits so close to home. I have been coming to very similar realizations lately of all the contortions I go through just to avoid staying in my power. The fear feels so real even though it just dissolves once you really stand in it and stay focused. Thanks for a great read.

    [Reply]

  • Akanksha says:

    This is such an inspiring article. I already started feeling empowered as I kept reading it. At this point of my life, I am at crossroads for things and have been figuring out how to reach where I desire. Thanks you so much for writeup. Running from things that are more powerful than me and my conviction always seemed easier. But I guess now is the time to halt and grapple my life back. Indeed “How you do one thing is how you do everything!”

    [Reply]

  • Jonalyn says:

    Yup, that’ll do it. You have my aprpeacitoin.

    [Reply]

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